I can't even remember the last time I posted in here. I'd have to go back and look. And I thinik Im going to cheat. Im gonna cut and paste some posts I made on a message board I belong to. I think it's good reading if I do say so myself.

My experince with the pill poppin doctors..


I have to say that right now, Id give anything to get back the treatment I got at the pain clinic. my pain was handled so well that I was able to go work a cna job at the hospital which includes lifting patients and passing stretching tests and endurance before the job even started. When I was forced to leave my pain clinic due to the fact that they changed thier policy on meidcal marijauna and was forcing patients to take a urine test, I said see ya later, I dont want my doctor testing my pee to keep me as a patient, i want him testing it to make sure im not sick from a disease. That was the only wierd thing. They dont try to find the reason you are in pain. And its probably why it took an extra year or two for me to get diagnosed because they handled the pain so well. I even was able to go back to school and went through almost a year. I got my cna license, went to music festivals, met my current husband and was doing absolutely fantastic. When I left, it was a slow crumble and break apart of everything I had spent those two years building. It all went away. I lost my job due to the pain, did find an excellant rheumy, even though it took 3 more doctors during that time. All through this, I had no pain caretaker at all. The pain clinic had me on oxycontin's ( i never told anyone and even had to get a NOTE from my doctor for my CNA class, they had no idea that when you take pain medication for pain, it doesnt make you high, it make you normal and able to move around!?!?!) and i also had a steroid shot in my SI joints, and / or busae sacks depending on how I was feeling. I had those every 3 months. Even though the shots would cause 3 days of being really sore, it was the next 2 months being completely pain free that made it worth it. I miss it sometimes because the pain control was extremely high, but at the same time, the high potency narcotics (the oxys and vicodin i was taking ) I started to worry about my body and so I never asked for them from my current doc. Needless to say, the pain clinic was both my savior and my satan at the same time. They sure took away what they gave to me. and here is my rant on how people treat disabled folks. ~*~*~* warning, rant and spillage of some guts ahead, so be warned!! You have been warned!!!! I have to say that I have been treated most horribly by the people closest to my age. Ive had people stalk me on the internet accusing me of faking my disease because you cant always 'see it'. How much teasing Ive had to put up with from even the next generation (the 19,20 yr olds) about the weight my prednisone has put on. Ive spent hours trying to even get anyone close to that age even listen when it comes to a disease I wish that in my travels in the past 10 years, floating around folks both younger and older then me, back and forth across the states (at one point, i had flown somewhere once a month for a year and a half)I had been treated well in any way when i got sick. I even lost a few friends who couldn't accept the fact that I was now disabled and can't get around without help in some way. It disgusts me. To the core. And the ones who say its my fault. they are the worst. This is somethign thats been bubbling up inside me for awhile, Im sometimes really really perturbed at the people who have treated me like S&#t in the past 2years since my disease started flaring really badly. Id love to try and stop the thing, i try to excersize, i try to eat right, but see, none of hte medications i can afford (and sometimes cant, dont stop the disease, they just treat the symptoms) I think sometimes Im in this horrible black hole of constant flare that's never going to go away. But then I snap back to reality and know that Ill be ok. This whole disease thing has really showed me who my friends are and who my friends aren't thats for sure. I see that you are from canada, and I hope that the canadian people of my generation are nicer then the kids from the states Ive hung out with, cuz man. I could keep goin for hours about the mistreatment Ive seen to others with crutches and wheelchairs when I go to concerts. people dont even move out of the way in the aisles when an old woman was being wheeled out and SHE had a freakin oxygen container on the back of her chair and a canula in her nose.

Well WE love you, Marn.