Im not really sure why bravenet makes it so difficult to post a picture. And I sure wish they were hooked up to flickr. I really enjoy showing off my pics but the big ole space is super annoying. Scroll a bit for some really pretty pictures. I also figured out how to add my Flickr badge to my journal. Make sure you give it a gander. Its up in that upper box under the title of my blog. Isn't it neato?

The Division Bell Cd by Pink Floyd came out in 1994, which was kind of a summer reawakening for me. I had spent most of 1993 in an abusive relationship. The next guy I dated tried to hit me too. He ran to the state of Florida but I'm sure the case is still open. I spent a lot of that summer experiencong things I'd never had the freedom to experience before. I had gone straight from high school to a relationship with a controlling man. I had never been able to do what I wanted to do. I had always done what my mother said, or what Ted said. That summer, I saw the Grateful dead in michigan twice, and also experienced a Pink Floyd show at the Pontiac Silverdome. We knew we were going to the floyd and dead show for awhile so my best friend Kat spent the first 3 weeks of june playing the music of the bands we were going to see. I had no idea that these bands included a counter culture lifestyle which I would end up taking as part of my morals for the next 15 years of my life. Where were you...That summer I said goodbye to Utica, Michigan and my lovely job of delivering pizza. I ended up spending a lot of time with more then just one kind of culture. I spent some nights at the bars in downtown Detroit. Sometimes we'd hit the bars in pontiac, and I even spent one 7 night stand doing line dancing at the country bar. I had fun, but it just wasnt my scene. I had started making friends with new kinds of people. People who spent some of their recreational time smoking pot. I had known some of my friends did this when  I was in high school, but it wasn't something I had ever thought I would try. I know the moment had arrived....The funny thing is, when I think back to that summer, it is the pink floyd show that comes to mind most clearly. We had literally the highest seat in the house. The last row, in the upper last bowl of an 80,000 person venue. The silverdome had been home to the detoit lions and pistons for many years, but at this time only had concerts, truck rallys and lion games. The pistons moved to the newly built Palace Of Auburn Hills. The show was like nothing I had ever seen before. I didn't smoke any pot, but the Silverdome was so smoky with 2nd hand pot smoke that I must have picked up some sort of buzz just from that. I remember not being able to see all the way across the venue during halftime because the smoke was so thick. I had grown up listening to 'The Wall" and varius other cool records, but it was Dark Side of the Moon that seems to be the soundtrack to my childhood. My parents were definitelky not pot smokers and so this music was something that was planted in me all the way back to when I arrived in my parent's arms. As I grew up, Floyd was still the soundtrack of my life and now, into my 30's, they are reuniting for a concert for the G-8 thing. Not quite sure yet what to think of all of it, but with every Floyd concert in the past, there has always been a floyd tour. I hope, and pray, that my soul may expereince the live show that is pink floyd in its orignial state, which is not waht they were when I experienced them in 1994. For millions of years, man had lived just like the animals, then something happened, we learned to talk...

Check out my current ebay auction if you are in the market for a Serger, or just looking to expand your sewing skills by learning how to use one. Serger's are cool as heck. They cut the fabric as you sew and use 2 needles and 5 spools of thread. When an item is finished , it looks just like it came from the store.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8198798115

http://www.pinkfloyd.com/home/11.html It was confirmed today that Roger Waters will join Pink Floyd to perform at the Live8 concert in Hyde Park on 2nd July.

David Gilmour made the following statement:
"Like most people I want to do everything I can to persuade the G8 leaders to make huge commitments to the relief of poverty and increased aid to the third world. It's crazy that America gives such a paltry percentage of its GNP to the starving nations. Any squabbles Roger and the band have had in the past are so petty in this context, and if re-forming for this concert will help focus attention then it's got to be worthwhile."

Text applications close TONIGHT - for ticket details go to www.live8live.com

To apply for tickets, fans have to answer the following question:

WHAT CITY IS THE FORTHCOMING G8 SUMMIT HELD NEAR THIS JULY?

A. Berlin B. Moscow C. Edinburgh Text A, B or C to 84599*

Each entry costs £1.50* plus your operator’s standard text charge

This weekend I started two new things to help make my life a bit more busy now that my pain is starting to be better controlled. I decided to teach myself how to quilt, and also decided to start volunteering at a women's domestic abuse shelter. If you have ready any of my story, you may have caught references to me being hit by an ex-boyfriend, and since I turned out so well, I've always wanted to use that experience to help other people. I figured that if I got hired to be a 911 operator that I would be stoked to get paid AND to help others but I didn't get hired . That was a sad day, but when it happened, I said to myself it doesn't matter if I get paid or not, go volunteer. Saturday was my first orientation and I really like the 2 women who were there from the shelter. I was the only person ther just to volunteer. Everyone else was there because of a school related reason.

Last night was a crazy night indeed. The subpump got stuck and stopped pumping the water up and out of the basement for our washer and we ended up with a half flooded basement. After a day of arguing with the husband, it made for a great evening. He went and hid in the bedroom unable to handle the stress, and our buddy chris came over to help clean it up and see if he could fix it. While fixing it and cleaning up the basement, which had to be done anyways, I found a pack of pictures I thought had been gone for ever. They were pictures that involved some phish shows from 99 and 2000 that I was SURE I had iven away at some time. Needless to say, that really honestly made up for all the cleaning because if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have the pictures now!

In the end, as it always is, things end up the way they are meant to be and I refuse to let anything bring me down. Life might not be great (lots of bills, are very behind), but I can't do anything but work to try and fix it and I'm working all I can at this point. I'm tired of little things getting me down and I prefer being the happy girl and not the bummed and drama-fied girl.

Its a sady day when I cant even find this on google news!!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

from the Rhandirhodesshow.com message board 

 http://www.therandirhodesshow.com/randirhodes/messageboards/index.php?act=ST&f=131&t=54355

 

Press Release http://www.house.gov/apps/list/press/fl20_schultz/judgavelledoff.html

Democracy thwarted at Judiciary Committee Hearing on the Patriot Act
Chairman silences Democrats at a hearing on the Patriot Act by cutting the microphones

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE (Adjourns illegally at 1:50:00)

June 10, 2005
(Washington, DC) --

Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, in her new role as a member of the Judiciary Committee today, witnessed first hand the disrespectful conduct of the Republican majority at a Committee hearing today, requested by the Democratic minority, to hear testimony on civil rights and civil liberties abuses resulting from the USA Patriot Act.

The majority acted shamefully today, attempting to silence Democrats at the Judiciary Committee hearing this morning on the impact of the Patriot Act. Throughout the hearing, run by Judiciary Committee Chairman James Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin, witnesses and members were cut-off in mid sentence, the Chairman refused to yield to Democratic members points of order, or points of personal privilege. Finally, the hearing was adjourned by the Chairman, in violation of the Rules of the House and cutting off the microphones of Democratic members while they attempted to speak.



Sixteen provisions of the USA Patriot Act automatically sunset (expire) at the end of the year unless reauthorized by Congress. As such, the Judiciary Committee is holding hearings on the reauthorization of the USA Patriot Act.



The hearing this morning was the first time in roughly ten years that the minority on the Judiciary Committee has been forced to invoke its right to continue hearings in order to have its own witnesses.



Earlier this week, the Chairman, scheduled a series of hearings on the reauthorization of the USA Patriot Act, however, many of the hearings were on non-controversial parts of the Act. The hearings did not address some really obvious and important issues like section 215, which authorizes FBI access to library records and racial profiling. In an amazing slight, the only witness the Chairman would allow was the Deputy Attorney General of the United States who, of course, supports the permanent enactment of the Act. THE MINORITY DID NOT GET TO CALL A SINGLE WITNESS.



In response, the Judiciary Committee Democrats invoked Rule11 of the House rules allowing us to request our own hearing, which the Chairman held this morning, on a Friday, even though the House adjourned on Thursday and most members had returned to their districts.



Particularly shameful acts of the majority Republican during this morning’s Judiciary Committee Hearing:



1. The most egregious abuse was that the Chairman clearly violated the Rules of the House by adjourning the hearing based solely on his own authority. In order to end a hearing, the Chair must make a Unanimous Consent request or a motion to adjourn. Mr. Sensenbrenner did neither. Additionally, he adjourned the hearing based solely on his own authority while Mr. Nadler was attempting to raise a point of order (arguably to highlight this fact), which constitutes a clear abuse of House Rules. Subject to our discretion, this could constitute a privilege to be raised on the House floor. It can also be argued that this violation was particularly egregious given that this was the Minority’s day of hearings. (begins at 1:51:00 on video)



2. After the Chairman illegally adjourned the hearing, the Majority then attempted to cut the microphone of Mr. Nadler who was attempting to raise a point of order about the adjournment. (begins at 1:52:25 on video)



3. The Chairman refused on numerous occasions to recognize Members attempting to raise Points of Order or Points of Personal Privilege. For example, he refused to recognize both Ms. Jackson-Lee Ms. Wasserman-Schultz at the beginning of the hearing. (begins at 17:45 on video or 19:15)



4. During the hearing, the Chairman clearly referred to comments that had just been made by Ms. Jackson-Lee, calling them “irresponsible.” (begins at 1:49:57 on video)



5. The Chair gave one of the witnesses an order for information he wanted submitted to the Committee and gave a deadline of one week even though other witnesses in previous hearings have not been given such deadlines. (begins at 1:50:45 on video)



6. The Chairman at the beginning of the hearing read a list of Members – calling them by name – who signed the letter requesting an additional day of hearings but were not present at that moment at the hearing. The Rules of the House clearly state that Members cannot be disparaged on the record by name. Additionally, a number of the Members so disparaged were present at that moment and some had been present from before the hearing even began. (begins 5:30 on video)



7. The Chairman instituted a policy of cutting off witnesses responding to questions by Members in mid-sentence. Additionally, he would not let witnesses answer questions that were posed to them by Members before the Member’s five minutes ended (begins at 1:32:30 on video). While not a violation of the Rules, these actions clearly violated the Traditions and Practices of the House Judiciary Committee. Chairman Sessenbrenner usually allows witnesses to finish their sentences – and usually their broader point – before moving to the next Member. In addition, the usual practice is to allow witnesses to briefly respond to questions posed to them, even if the five minutes of the Member expired before they began to answer (begins at 1:47:00 on video).



8. The Chairman also suggested that he might strike from the record any testimony that was not directly related to the 16 expiring provisions of the PATRIOT Act. At no time has it ever been suggested or threatened that a witnesses testimony (or a Member’s statements) would be stricken from the record. Additionally, in previous hearings, the Majority’s witnesses, as well the Majority Members have made statements that were technically outside the bounds of the hearing topic.

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE (Adjourns illegally at 1:50:00)

http://www.house.gov/apps/list/press/fl20_...avelledoff.html

I can't even remember the last time I posted in here. I'd have to go back and look. And I thinik Im going to cheat. Im gonna cut and paste some posts I made on a message board I belong to. I think it's good reading if I do say so myself.

My experince with the pill poppin doctors..




I have to say that right now, Id give anything to get back the treatment I got at the pain clinic. my pain was handled so well that I was able to go work a cna job at the hospital which includes lifting patients and passing stretching tests and endurance before the job even started. When I was forced to leave my pain clinic due to the fact that they changed thier policy on meidcal marijauna and was forcing patients to take a urine test, I said see ya later, I dont want my doctor testing my pee to keep me as a patient, i want him testing it to make sure im not sick from a disease. That was the only wierd thing. They dont try to find the reason you are in pain. And its probably why it took an extra year or two for me to get diagnosed because they handled the pain so well. I even was able to go back to school and went through almost a year. I got my cna license, went to music festivals, met my current husband and was doing absolutely fantastic. When I left, it was a slow crumble and break apart of everything I had spent those two years building. It all went away. I lost my job due to the pain, did find an excellant rheumy, even though it took 3 more doctors during that time. All through this, I had no pain caretaker at all. The pain clinic had me on oxycontin's ( i never told anyone and even had to get a NOTE from my doctor for my CNA class, they had no idea that when you take pain medication for pain, it doesnt make you high, it make you normal and able to move around!?!?!) and i also had a steroid shot in my SI joints, and / or busae sacks depending on how I was feeling. I had those every 3 months. Even though the shots would cause 3 days of being really sore, it was the next 2 months being completely pain free that made it worth it. I miss it sometimes because the pain control was extremely high, but at the same time, the high potency narcotics (the oxys and vicodin i was taking ) I started to worry about my body and so I never asked for them from my current doc. Needless to say, the pain clinic was both my savior and my satan at the same time. They sure took away what they gave to me.

and here is my rant on how people treat disabled folks.

~*~*~* warning, rant and spillage of some guts ahead, so be warned!!


You have been warned!!!!


I have to say that I have been treated most horribly by the people closest to my age. Ive had people stalk me on the internet accusing me of faking my disease because you cant always 'see it'. How much teasing Ive had to put up with from even the next generation (the 19,20 yr olds) about the weight my prednisone has put on. Ive spent hours trying to even get anyone close to that age even listen when it comes to a disease I wish that in my travels in the past 10 years, floating around folks both younger and older then me, back and forth across the states (at one point, i had flown somewhere once a month for a year and a half)I had been treated well in any way when i got sick. I even lost a few friends who couldn't accept the fact that I was now disabled and can't get around without help in some way. It disgusts me. To the core.

And the ones who say its my fault. they are the worst.

This is somethign thats been bubbling up inside me for awhile, Im sometimes really really perturbed at the people who have treated me like S&#t in the past 2years since my disease started flaring really badly. Id love to try and stop the thing, i try to excersize, i try to eat right, but see, none of hte medications i can afford (and sometimes cant, dont stop the disease, they just treat the symptoms) I think sometimes Im in this horrible black hole of constant flare that's never going to go away. But then I snap back to reality and know that Ill be ok. This whole disease thing has really showed me who my friends are and who my friends aren't thats for sure.

I see that you are from canada, and I hope that the canadian people of my generation are nicer then the kids from the states Ive hung out with, cuz man. I could keep goin for hours about the mistreatment Ive seen to others with crutches and wheelchairs when I go to concerts. people dont even move out of the way in the aisles when an old woman was being wheeled out and SHE had a freakin oxygen container on the back of her chair and a canula in her nose.

so many of these things offer ipods and other merchandise, well this one offers the one thing we all love. Cold hard CASH. so help a blogger out by filling out one of these would ya?
Click on the type up there ^^^ to take you to the offers.

By summertime 1995, I was 3000 in debt. One hot afternoon, I slowly walked up the stairs to my apartment. I wasn't too winded as there were not that many stairs but it always seemed like a long way up, even though it was just 2 floors. Add in the summer humidity and you've got one long flight of stairs. I saw from the first few steps of the landing that was closest to my floor that On the door was a white folded peice of paper attached by a small piece of scotch tape. I was somewhat confused as to what this could be, because I had never seen anything like it on my door before.
I was being taken to court for not paying my rent. I called my second mother and cried and told her what happened. I didnt have too many people I felt that I could call for help. At this point it's all a blank. A few weeks after recieving this piece of paper, I was given the money from my father's insurance policy. The money that arrived that august saved my life. My father in death, had kept me going at a bad time. Just as he did in life.

The second cross country trip I took was just a few weeks after recieving the money, after Jerry Garcia died. I felt the pull to go to San Fransisco where the Dead began and I found myself itching to go SOMEWHERE. I called up my best friend at the time, and invited her and the guy she was 'dating' with me. Jerry had just died, and we had to make the trip. It was a deadheads trip to mecca. 710 ashbury where the dead notriously lived. The corner of haight-ashbury where all the pictures were taken of them standing right there at the corner. We also wanted to see the Warfield Music Theater. The Jerry Garcia Band, aka JGB used to play a lot at this venue. We wanted to just give thanks to all that Jerry had given us in our souls. All three of us were deadheads in some sort of way and this trip was a necesssity. We got a room in an old school, but nicely renovated hotel that was also a theater/playhouse. There were all kinds of couples going in and out of the elevator dressed to the nines for a play. There we were wearing cords, birkenstocks and patchwork. The first morning, we awoke, 21 floors up from the ground and peered out our windows. The entire city was shrouded in fog, and we decided to wait before heading out to do anything. We had rented a car, and wanted to visit all of the Grateful Dead places that we had only read about or listened to on tape. The first stop, was to take a drive down the main strip and pass The Warfield. We started to get closer and as we pulled up in front and threw on the hazards, we saw, on the marquee, that Bob Wier, one of the remaining members of the Dead was having a show that night! All of us pooled our cash together to get some tickets and took off for a day of sightseeing before going to stand in line for an actual show at the warfield! It was kismet. It had to be. We went to fisherman's wharf, ghiradelli square and even visted the mission. We drove through Golden Gate park staring at the polo fields and various landmarks(to us) where the 'summer of love' had taken place.


After returning home from San Fran, trouble arrived in the form of a friend named Joe. He had been caught having sex with his g-friend by his parents and needed a place to live after his preacher father had kicked him out. I of course said yes when he asked me if he could move in because I cared for him and would have done anything he asked. I felt that way about all my friends. I would give them the shirt off my back, or a couch to sleep on. We shared the one bedroom togther, but we had separate beds. I was fooled into thinking that he was falling in love with me, but in the end, this was not to be.


I thought maybe moving to Brattleboro, Vermont was the answer. I almost moved there in October/November 1995.

I met Heather in the Grateful Dead chatroom. The internet was still pretty new to the average person like me at this point. I had just gotten a computer in August and found a whole cyber world of people who liked the same things I liked in music. The Grateful Dead had their own forum on AOL and that's where I was destined to be. He was a hippie kid, like me, I thought. We decided to hang out in real life and possibly get an apartment together somewhere in Vermont. I packed up my backpack and hopped the greyhound bus. We motored up through the beautiful fall leaves of western New york and I ended up in New Hampshire. Heath's parents were kind enough to host me in their house for the 2 weeks we were taking to find the right apartment. Heath and I spent the days searching the apartment ads for Brattleboro and scouted out the grocery stores and music stores. We spent quite a few hours in the music shop and I ended up buying an accoustic guitar. I really wanted to learn how to play it and figured that at 21, I was still young enough to pick it up. Eventually we found the apartment that we felt most comforatable in and placed a downpayment on it. The two of us headed back to his parents house, packed up my stuff and I returned to michigan with Heath in tow. It was impossible for me to move an entire apartment without help and I just couldn't find anyone who was willing to help me move, including my future roommate. I decided this was a trait in a person that I was not willing to look past.I intended to move there. But it was something that was just not to be in the cards. I'm not sure why, but I sent him home about 3 days before the RV rental, returned all the money he was owed, and stayed in Michigan.

In Dec. of 1995 I decided I wanted to travel the country again, but this time, by car. I had flown to California, but that was it. Just there and back. I made this decision while I was in pittsburgh. I was spending time with a friend but in the end decided to just hop in my car and head home to plan this trip with my roommate. I needed company. I asked my roommate if he wanted to come. I had an online buddy, Joker, heading out from the east coast to travel with me and I was somewhat a little nervous. I figured that with Josh around things would be a little more comfortable if I didn't get along with this guy. My roomate told me that he didnt have the money to do the trip, but I didn't mind. I trusted my roommate. He paid his rent. Was a good friend. Many a nights we spent talking till all hours if neither of us worked. We had shared many tokes, and drinks.I was confident he would pay me back and I would've gone to the moon and back for him if he had asked. I let my roommate plan which highway we would take to cross the country

We decided that we should crash at his brother's house outside San Fran in the middle of the trip, spend 10 days there and then head back home. On the way to San Fran, unbeknownst to me my roommates plans to move to California, we took the southern route down to Tennessee. This was the first time I was seeing this part of the world by ground. I had spent most of my life flying to Arizona, but you don't see from a plane, what you see from a car. Not even a hundredth of what you see when you are driving on four wheels. The first night on the road, we camped at a state park in Tennessee. In the morning we woke up in our tents and I poked out my head. There was this beautiful marshy lake filled with croaking frogs, lilly pads and cat-tails. We were camped in a spot right on the edge of this beautiful fairy land. The sun hadn't come up yet and the mist was hovering over the lake making it seem almost like a dream world. As we brushed our teeth and changed clothes, the sky turned pinkish and the sun lazily rose in the sky. It was a crisp morning and we all wore the heaviest wool sweaters and warm warm clothes. As we pulled out onto the highway and officaially turned west, the fog on the highway lifted and our path was cleared.

In Alabama, we made camp in what seemed like a beautiful state campground in the hazy, pinkish December sunset. We pitched our tent, built the fire and my roomie and I took a short walk to this slab of concrete that was sticking out into the water. We lay on our backs and looked up at the twinkling stars. This was the first time the plan to move to California was mentioned. I hadn't even thought about it, but it defintely sounded appealing. I didn't have anything holding me down to the state I was born in. My family is small and no matter where I lived, I knew I could see them. We laid there and the evening turned into early morning. Finally the two of us made our way to the tent, zipped it open, crawled into our sleeping bags and extinguished the light. When we woke up in the morning, we all had happy smiles, remembering the beauty of the campground in the evening twlight th enight before. To our shock and surprise, the campground we were camped in, had a lake yes, but this lake turned out to be a cooling pond near what was an Old Nuclear power plant. That was definitely one of the most memorable mornings. Standing up in our long underwear, crawling out of our sleeping bags and starting the morning breakfast on the campfire, at the campground, at the nuclear tower?!?!

The next big stop was the grand canyon.

I had been there before when I was little with my family but this time was different. I was with 2 friends and we were camping at the official Grand Canyon Campground and spending a few days there. When we woke up after a restless night filled with howling coyotes, we all woke up, ate our breakfast and walked to the little postoffice/store that the Park provided. We had a styrofoam cooler and we left it out with rocks on the cover to hold it down. We knew that animals always try to break in and I know that I forgot about this as the natural grown buddies that were taking me along for a trip started to kick in. I remember climbing down off the beaten path and just sitting on the edge of the grand canyon looking at the colors and the vast emptyness. Thankfully I had enough brain cells left to realize that when we returned to our Grand Canyon campsite for lunch, the animals had decimated our styrofoam cooler. Best advice to anyone camping. Get a plastic cooler and leave it in the car!

We stopped at the Cali state border and took all the perfuntary pictures. We gaped at the windmill farms which were things we had only read about on the internet. We decided to stop at the hotel to take a nice warm shower and sleep in a bed. We needed to recharge after a week or so of camping in the wild. My roommates brother and sister were waiting for our arrival anxiously and we wanted to be well rested when we arrived.

While spending the 10 days in San Fran, besides looking at all the cities surrounding the city and scouring the want ads and help wanted ads, Josh and I decided to get tattoos on haight street. We both decided to get a Grateful Dead related one.I got a green dancing bear on the inside of my right ankle and Josh got a Terrapin Turtle. During the trip, Josh started
putting the idea in my head to move to california. The first time he asked me about moving was on the porch of his brother's house.We were smoking cigs and he asked what i
thought...I was totally excited at the thought of moving west with him. I thought at the time that it was the right decision. We ended up driving back to michigan almost 24 straight hours from denver. I remember Josh was driving and spending a lot of time inthe back seat of the jeep sleepily looking up if we slid int he snow of the mountain passes and the got rocked back to sleep with the swish and swash of the window wipers of the rain as we headed into some of the rainy places tha werent getting snow. It was now the beginning of 1996 and the plan was to move at the end of Feb. I paid for the rest of the apartments lease (I sure didn't know at the time that you ahd to BUY out a lease! Well I still had the cash, needless to say...we moved there at the end of feb in 1996 ...i

paid for everything...the whole move..the apartment which was 950 a month

(first and last months and deposit)..his total debt to me added up to about

3000 dollars..anyways..life with josh for the first few months was awesome..i dated a few guys..but i was still in love with josh..i would come home from work with a 6 pack and he would have dinner waiting..i was in bliss and couldnt imagine life getting any better..or anything wrong going on..i was slowly starting to make friends up in san fran because i would go up there all the time..and i became a weekly participater in the dead night at nickys (a bar on haight street that would play dead music).

Fast forward to May of 1996.I spent much more time up on haight street then at the apartment and got to know the kids there. One of them being "manny the hippie" who ended up on letterman. We dated for a few weeks, maybe 2 months, he smacked me once, I dumped him, and he dumped me again after we got back together and then he got famous. The show aired on a Monday and he dumped me on a tuesday. It was pretty devestating but that night I went with Joe and his brothers to a Box Set show were I met Liam,who ended up becoming a very good friend and marrying and starting a family with another good friend of mine. karma I suppose . Ii got asked to house sit for a friend of mine in the city. Joe and i lived in menlo park which was 30 miles south of san fran so I took her up on the offer to house sit for a week..and ended up never going back to the apartment until years later. I just couldnt stand the what was going on at our apartment. I couldn't figure out why Joe was being such a total prick and not paying me back the money he owed and i didnt know what to do. I ended up inviting vinnie and drew whom i had actually met back when i was dating manny, over to the house. It was a very intense night as Drew spent that first 24 hours completely withdrawling from heroin. Everything between puking his guts out, screaming in absolute pain to massive diahrrea happened but he was not strong enough and by the afternoon of the next day he snuck out and got himself a fix. Drew and I had a connection that was strong for many years, but we never started a relationship because he was a 3 needle a day heroin junky. He told me later on that he didnt want to put that habit onto me as well..even though it already was...those 2 guys took care of me.I was a sheltered little girl at that point, homegrown in the tight assed suburbs of detroit. i didnt know what else to do.i was kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place since i really didnt know anyone who could help me because besides them, Joe and this girl whom I barely knew and Liam were the only 3 people I knew in that entire big city.I could have always gone back to michigan with my mother,but who at 21/22 wants to go back home to mom?. Only a strong person willing to admit defeat would do that smart thing which i was not at the time, so the first 2 weeks of june i spent sleeping every night in golden gate park with vinnie, drew and me. A happy little family of three. Every night I would fall asleep to the chirping of the birds, the sounds of small animals in the bushes, brush and trees and of course the star or two that would peak through the bright San Francisco lights. We would park the jeep in the free spots off to one side of Golden Gate Park and then hike back to the tree where we had dropped off our gear and either vinnie or drew. Neither one of them would ever let me be alone. I was safe as long as I was with them because they were 'known' I was starting to get 'known' simply because I had a car. Most of the kids that were there were either flat out from the suburbs and faking it or a full on runaway, which I guess in a way I was even though I was 22 at this point. We would wake up and roll up our packs and sleeping bags and slowly make our way to the jeep. We would put our stuff away and pull out our toothbrushes and make ourselves somewhat clean. The next stop was the Chevron bathroom which was the only public bathroom in the main part of the haight. There was always a chance of finding a dirty hypo or even a passed out junky in there but I always just needed to go potty. Loading back up in the jeep, heading out towards the higher haight, we would eat our breakfast of pork chow fun. It was usually the only meal of the day, unless vinnie found something that was edible in the trash cans, and we would swing nugs and walk up and down the street. 3 times a day we would go to the mission and score some heroin for drew and every night we would go back to our tree in the park. June 14th came. I remember the date so clearly because the remaining members of the grateful dead played as a group for the first time since jerry had died, andthe city was crawling with all sorts of deadheads. Right before we were going to head up to the show, one of our regular customers came up and said hey kids, the cops have been taking pictures of you for a couple days now. I never actually exchanged money with customers,but would hold the pot for Drew,who would do the exchange. I was still part of it. Not a minute after our buddy walked away, the car full of undercover cops (us kids who didn't really have a home to go home to knew what the undercovers looked like. in some instances, even knew their names. They came to care about us in a way even though they could never catch us doing anything illegal in front of them. We knew where every camera was, and which fake hippie was in fact john, or joe. We would walk down one of t he streets that had 2 cameras and point directly at them and laugh. The undercovers had been trying for years to catch Drew in the act but he was so good at eluding the cops. While walking out of the local grocery store, they would stop us and ask us how we were doing. Even thought their job was to catch us, they really seemed to have this small bit of a heart and care of us in the same tone. Almost like a father figure type role at these times. The car drove up where we were standing and they gotout of the car and went into the convinence store there. We all turned around and walked off haight street. That was the last time I ever made the forray into illegal activities. My mom must have done something right because it was definitely a path I could've ended up going down and thankfully did not.I have been back to Haight Street many times now that almost 10 years have passed. The most recent time, just this past year with my husband. He had never been there and with my background, being there as a tourist, I could show him a lot of things that the average person who lived there might not know. I also decided that it is a lot better then being there as a street kid.

After this close call it was decided that we should probably get out of town and the most appealing thing to all of us was to go on Furthur Tour. There was a large group of musicians, Bruce Horsnby, Mickey Hart, Bobby Wier, that were all invited to play in this day long festival type tour. It was only one day long, but was playing in many cities across the states. Jerry was gone, and phish tour didn't start till later on in the summer so this Furthur thing was the obvious choice. The guys were doing their thing, but I was making hemp jewelry and using my culinary tour skills to make hot fatty grilled cheese to make money. I had decided since the almost bust to go legal and stay legal when it came to making money. A lot of people I knew on tour supported themselves by selling drugs, but I was not going to loosen my morals and stoop to that level. I was happy with the choice to go on this tour because after all, I am a deadhead always.
"hey..lets go up to portland oregon. I know where to get food and where to sleep and we can make some cash on stark street" Vin said.
"sure" I said.
"sure" said Drew.